Fragile X

I never knew exactly how much pain and hurt could come from 8 letters. I will never forget how I felt the day my son was tested for Fragile X Syndrome. It was a day that should have been just like any other but that has changed my life forever. Never again will life be so called "normal" for my family. Everything I do has to be well planned and thought of because of my son. He is definetely my little piece of Heaven here on earth and even though there are times I feel like screaming "Why Me?" I know it is by the grace of God that I go through each and every day. Brantley was my wake up call that I had to get my life straight. While I was not a bad person I was certainly not living the way God wanted me to live and through all of the problems with Brantley I have discovered a relationship with God, my children, and my family that I feel will last through all eternity. Fragile X makes for a fragile family at times. My daughter wants to know why Brantley gets to do things she doesn't and why she can't play in McDonalds when we go. To her she doesn't understand because she's only six and life is to uncomplicated for her. She doesn't understand why Momma just can't hold Brantley or make him mind and to be honest sometimes I wonder if it is just me. Brantley has his moments of screaming and crying, kicking, hitting and at times they last for hours and all I can do is cry because I have no idea what is going on. How do you help your child when he can't tell you what is wrong. I do not harbor hard feelings for the way he is because he is exactly the way God made him. Even though there are times when I wonder I do know that God put him here for a reason and he will use him for His use. So I just keep praying and working and trust that in God's time I will understand the reasons for all of this and when I feel like giving up I look up and realize that God would not have give him to me if he was not going to give me the strength to get through it. "If God brings you to it; He will bring you through it." To all the other mothers out there with children with Fragile X just keep praying and keep working and in the end God will reveal his plan.