Sunday, May 13, 2007

Just One Of Those Days

Well it is Mother's Day and it has been a great one. My two precious angels are so great and they make everyday wonderful. I wish that people would be more considerate about things they say though. If everyone would just think before they made comments this world might actually be better than it is now. My kids are growing so fast and it is hard to believe that they will not be my "babies" for much longer. With both of their daddies out of the picture some days are just worst than others and people just don't seem to get it. I deal with being alone and dealing with one of my children having Fragile X. At times I wonder if there will ever be another man who will want to take on all the baggage that I have in my life. Trust is not a word I know the meaning of anymore when it comes to a man and love is just another four letter word. I know that whatever happens I will never regret my children and will always love them no matter what. Even if there is never another man in my life I pray that I will be able to know the love of my children and never take them for granted or resent their presence in my life for they have made me what I am today and for that God gets all the glory. This blog has kinda been all over the place but that seems to be the way my mind is working tonight. I am happy to some extinct but lonely in other ways. I want so much to be a good mother and would love the opportunity to experience a real marriage with a man that loves me and my kids for what we are good and bad, but chances are that man may not exist and the possibility of that drives me insane. I am a great person and I did everything I could to hold my marriages together so why do I feel like I have messed up my whole life. Well no matter what the outcome I have God, My kids, and my family and as long as I remember that I will be okay. When the day does come that my kids leave home or whatever the outcome with Brantley I hope they do not have to endure the pain and hurt that my relationships have led me to. My Mother's Day wish for my two is that they will follow God's path in everything they do and if that is the case then they will accomplish much and never feel lacking in love or life. I love you Tapanga and Brantley and pray that your faith will stay strong. MOM

2 comments:

cws said...

I just found your blog on google and am enjoying your thoughts. I too have fragile X children and a blog. Feel free to visit me anytime at http://fragilex.wordpress.com/. I can't wait to hear more about your precious babies!!

Christina

the other lion said...

Hi! I found your blog and love it. I too am a single mom with a son who has FX. www.theotherlion.blogspot.com